Age difference: likely scenarios for the development of relationships
For a long time the format of communication between men and women in romantic relationships was reduced to established rules and canons. The girls patiently waited for the suitors, who came to woo the parents, seeking the hand and heart of the chosen one. If the future spouse did not receive the approval of relatives, then the wedding became an illusion, which the lover could only dream of. After the abolition of the slave system, when wealthy people of old age forcibly led to the altar of young beauties, marriages are predominantly between the same age. It is believed that the young spouses more common interests and hobbies.
However, in the 21st century, new formats of relations are gaining momentum, which it was a shame to even think about. Today in the political arena there are a number of states where same-sex marriage is allowed and encouraged.The phenomenon for most people is inexplicable, but tolerance and democracy, flourishing in developed countries, lead to the inevitable acceptance of such a model of love union. Employees registry offices record many marriages between men and women with a large difference in age. In modern society, such relationships are considered the norm, so there is nothing to be surprised about in this situation.
However, even close relatives of spouses often doubt the sincerity of such unions. It is not surprising, since few represent the points of contact and the nature of mutual understanding between a twenty-year-old girl and a forty-year-old man. How long-life marriages are durable? Are there genuine feelings between spouses? What can lovers regret? What to fear? What are the likely scenarios for the development of relationships? Is a child born in such a marriage doomed to survive the parents' divorce? Questions among curious people have accumulated a lot, which means that the time has come to "get to the bottom" of the truth.
Features of love unions between spouses of different ages
In order not to doubt the professional suitability of a cupid that has missed in the process of the next shot, you need to understand the feasibility of such marriages.Initially, it is necessary to consider an alliance from different angles, making sure that the possibility of the emergence of love relationships between spouses with a large difference in age:
Many girls from the age of 20 are looking for a potential fiancé who will become a loving father and a faithful husband. Among peers it is difficult to find a guy who meets similar characteristics, because young men at this age are guided by completely different priorities. In this situation, the gaze of a young woman "falls" on an imposing, accomplished and wise man, on whose temples the first gray hair has already appeared. Being in love with such a type is an expected and explained phenomenon, which the representatives of the stronger sex know firsthand. Protection and reliability, calmness and confidence in the future are the main prospects that attract the young consciousness of the girl.
Young men who are sympathetic to adult women are guided by other factors. The lady of “Balzac years” becomes for the young man a happy “ticket” to the world of sexual pleasures, where there are no prohibitions. Twenty-year-old girls are just beginning to learn the facets of intimate life, so they are afraid of innovations,and mature women, fed up with everyday sex with her husband, dream of unbridled "agility" of young men.
In a relationship where a man is much older than a girl, the problem of aging is absent. The young wife satisfies the visual preferences of the spouse, so he does not go for adventures into the arms of the young ladies. The main thing is that the girl is aware of the likelihood of the forthcoming old age, during which it will be difficult to get rid of the feeling of loneliness.
Love unions, in which a woman is older than a guy, are short-lived. The girl, whose husband is much younger, visits cosmetologists and even falls under the surgical "knife", trying to conform to the image of her husband. However, over time, the lady always loses its attractiveness, so the man realizes sexual needs in a relationship with his mistress.
It is inexplicable, but a fact - the peaks of the sexual activity of men and women fall at different times. Girls reach their apogee by 44–50, and boys by 25–35 years. Thus, a love union in which the representative of the beautiful half of humanity is 10 years older than the spouse is a successful marriage, where the sexual compatibility of the partners fully corresponds to their development and capabilities.In the intimate life of their peers, things are much worse, therefore, the result of such marriages is often a divorce.
Women wishing to get married successfully in the XXI century can be classified into a separate category. They are willing to endure the antics of a spouse, forgetting about moral and ethical principles. The girl's only goal is an inheritance, which she safely waits. Men often know about the intentions of the chosen one, but they are satisfied with a similar situation of “things. With them in old age is next to a sexy and attractive woman.
There are far fewer Alfonso guys, but in modern society such boyfriends also exist. They enjoy the loneliness and dissatisfaction of women of “balzakovsky” age, making women fall in love with their own image. However, the goal of men is a bank card of the chosen one, and not personal qualities and life experience, which she is ready to share.
In this aspect, the advantages of a marriage of different ages over a union of the same age are obvious. The boys "mature" for the birth of a child much later than girls, therefore the young chosen one and the mature man are responsible and loving parents,raising a long-awaited baby. If a woman is older than her husband, then the lack of paternal care is compensated by the experience of the mother. Weddings between peers often occur due to unexpected pregnancy, so the duration of the existence of such a cell of society can not speak.
The effect of age difference on love relationships
The reasons for creating such unions are directly dependent on the difference in age between spouses. If sexologists and psychologists eagerly explain the range of 1–10 years, guided by their own observations, then the gap of 30–40 years remains a mystery even to professionals. Not to be unfounded, the features of marriages between partners of different ages:
Difference in the age of up to 5 years.
Such relationships in the camp of psychologists are considered the best option for creating a long-term marriage, if a man is 1–5 years older than a girl. A woman is looking for on a subconscious level in the spouse the support and support that he is able to provide for her. The guy, in turn, understands that the chosen one is younger than him, and therefore, does not have a lack of sexual attraction to his wife.Due to the small difference in age, lovers are addicted to common interests, so there is no reason to talk about the problem of mutual understanding.
A man is older than a woman for 5-10 years.
A common situation in which the initiators of the beginning of a relationship are girls. Support, protection and confidence in the future are factors that evoke a woman's sympathy for the chosen one. Men like these unions like no less, because next to them is a young, spectacular and sexy wife.
A girl older than a guy is 5-10 years old.
Such relationships begin after "random" sex, which both participants are satisfied with. A woman who does not want to perform a recessive role in marriage attracts the opportunity to manage a man. The guy in need of motherly love and affection, lures such a format of union, where the lady cares and cares for him. However, such marriages disintegrate quite often, because with the passage of time the spouse leaves "left".
A man is older than a woman for 10 years or more.
Such unions are a reason for people to doubt the sincerity of feelings of the spouses, because the age difference is palpable. Based on statistics, men live less than girls."Gawk" suggest that the only goal of women is inheritance. The survey results show that only 2.5% of such marriages are not based on the calculation, 97.5% - the desire of the spouse to get into the list of "elected" people present in the will.
The girl is older than the guy for 10 years or more.
This format of relations is inherent only for marriages, concluded by calculation. Wealthy women consciously marry guys who are younger by 10, 20, 30 years. Men are guided exclusively by the financial side of the issue, which allows them not to work and ensure their own future. For the guys, the visual appearance of the spouse is extremely important, therefore it is not necessary to speak about the sincerity of the union. Such a union is doomed to divorce - the only question is the duration of the relationship.
Scenarios of love relationships between uneven-aged spouses
After reviewing the causes and characteristics of the thinking of people who enter into a marriage of different ages, it is necessary to consider the scenarios for the development of such relationships. The duration of the union directly depends on the personal qualities and preferences of the spouses.Psychologists traditionally consider 5 options for the development of the situation in such unions:
Attributes: between spouses equal rights and duties are established; men and women have the opportunity to realize their own needs; the wife does not seek to monitor the comfort in the house, and the husband does not care about the prospect of family happiness.
Difficulties: such relationships over time are based solely on a material basis; in partner unions decisions are made jointly, so quite often there are differences between spouses.
Signs: the union is invariably based on the love, sympathy and sexual attraction of the spouses to each other; lack of dependence on social benefits; apathy to contacts from outside; the purpose of marriage is to create a cozy “nest” in which it will be comfortable for both partners.
Difficulties: there is a risk of degradation of love relationships to the household level; the lack of regular communication with strangers is the main cause of divorce in such marriages; the only way to preserve harmony in the family is to engage in a common cause, hobby, business.
Indications: the woman is the dominant partner making decisions in the family; the girl is distinguished by purposefulness and heightened activity, and the man is passive and restrained; his wife’s wages are greater than her husband’s income.
Difficulties: reproaches and criticism of a woman in the direction of a man about lack of initiative - the reason for the search for a spouse of a mistress who sees in him a "male"; the result of excessive control of the wife becomes low self-esteem chosen.
Signs: the purpose of a woman is to monitor the family hearth and raise children; the man is the head of the house, making decisions that are not negotiable.
Difficulties: the spouse treats the wife consumerly, does not appreciate housework; high probability of a mistress in a man (exclusively for sexual pleasures).
Signs: the girl inspires her husband to achieve the cherished goals; social success is not interesting to the man; the purpose of the spouse is to meet the needs of the chosen one.
Difficulties: a woman who is praised, with the passage of time, is capricious and shows a true character; if a girl ceases to inspire a man, then he goes in search of a new spouse; girl regularly maintains appearance, to eliminate the risk of a lover.
Intimate talkwith the future spouse - not the way out. To understand the expediency of an action, you need to honestly answer yourself to a number of questions: How strong are feelings? Are you ready to spend old age alone? Is it worth the legacy of living together with an unloved person?
Marriages between men and women with a noticeable difference in age can be happy and unsuccessful - the result reflects the sincerity of the feelings of the spouses. The story "knows" cases where girls fell in love with gentlemen who are 40 years older than them. “Branding” such relationships is an inexpedient decision, because marriage becomes a conscious choice of two adults.
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