How to respond to compliments?

Undoubtedly, hearing compliments in your address is extremely pleasant. However, not everyone can properly accept the praise. How to correctly respond to a compliment, so as not to create an awkward situation?

Praise is expressed in different ways. This may be undisguised hypocrisy or a sincere desire to say nice things. In the first case, there is an unpleasant aftertaste, because flattery, which has a hidden goal, is not very pleasant to anyone. Hypocrisy is felt and the reaction to such a compliment is negative.

A speaker who gives a compliment from the top-down position causes an aggressive response and irritation. The "bottom-up" position also does not create the desired atmosphere. A compliment is only then accepted adequately and cordially when it is expressed “on an equal footing”.3

How to respond is not worth it?

An acquaintance that began with a compliment is more likely to grow into a strong friendship. (O. Wilde)

Well, if the compliment was worthwhile, pleasant and implying a positive reaction, and the object of admiration responded,that the air began to soar notes of negativity and tension? How to prevent embarrassment and misunderstanding? Let us see what reaction to the compliment is not appropriate under any circumstances.

  • Negation. Objecting in response to a compliment, you embarrass the speaker and diminish your dignity. Do not argue, responding to praise.
  • Explanation. A person begins to actually justify himself for having admired the other, giving details that are not interesting or needed by anyone. It looks like this: “You look great! This dress is perfect for you! ”-“ What are you doing! I bought it without even trying it on, for pennies on sale! ”
  • Indifference. Ignoring compliments is a common response. Indifference is appropriate when a person is unpleasant and there is not the slightest desire to talk to him. In other cases, ignoring the compliment is worse than any other reaction. Who would like it if, in response to pleasant speeches, they would build a dismissive facial expression and keep silent?
  • Excessive delight. There are women who, having heard the compliment, are ready to do anything for the sake of the speaker.However, a person only wants to please, cheer up and share the joy. He does not expect the lady to lose her head.
  • Response flattery. Do not respond with a compliment to a compliment. Return pleasant words when it is really appropriate and looks natural. Wait for the right occasion.

What is the cause of the wrong reaction?

4The objective reasons for the negative reaction to the compliment are five:

  1. The man is sure that he does not deserve compliments.
  2. The person believes that the speaker flatters to manipulate them to achieve their own goals.
  3. A person is indifferent to the opinions of others, and especially the speaker.
  4. A person feels obligated when he is given compliments.
  5. A person does not like when a lot of attention is directed at him.

How to respond correctly?

Remember - you have the full right to compliments and certainly deserve them!

The action plan is simple:

  • Believe the speaker

People say nice words to cheer you up, please and express sympathy. Do not look for hidden motives, but just rejoice! A compliment may not sound natural, but do not draw attention to it.The interlocutor's words are only his point of view and he is entitled to think as he sees fit. Believing in the truthfulness of the compliment, you get elated for the whole day, but challenging will lead to negative thoughts and senseless resentment.

  • Rejoice

As soon as you believe the speaker, positive emotions will overtake you involuntarily. A person who believes that causes admiration from others and takes praise for "good coin", flourishes when he hears pleasant words in his address. By making a compliment to a sad girl, you are guaranteed to see how she will sit down, straighten her shoulders and smile. Do not argue with the speaker. Feel the joy of realizing your own exclusiveness.

  • Thank

Adequate response to the compliment - thanks. Say "thank you" to the person who raised your spirits with praise. Simple thanks are enough. The answer to the compliment does not require explanations, evidence and other additional statements. Express gratitude as you like: short or unfolded. The main thing - do not ignore the speaker. Do not hide embarrassment if it manifests itself when you hear compliments.Be natural and friendly.2

If compliments are not easy to make, then you probably have psychological problems that you need to get rid of - an inferiority complex, fears, self-doubt or even signs of social phobia. Work on yourself to believe that you are worthy of compliments and that others tell you the truth.

Even if the compliment is somewhat exaggerated, do not take it into the bayonets. The speaker has his own point of view and the full right to express it. You, in turn, just rejoice that others like your actions or yourself. Even if they express it in a very rosy light.



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