My husband is a sissy
Who do people call a sissy? This definition is given to a man whose social separation from the imperious mother did not occur in the process of transitional age. Is it possible to create a strong family with a mama's son and what line of behavior should a woman follow in relations with such a man?
What if my husband is a sissy?
Before answering the question “what to do?”, Let's figure out who is a sissy.Signs of a male sissy manifest, usually before marriagetherefore, you have every chance to recognize it before such an important step in life. The first sign: the man on the call of the mother throws the woman during the date and rushes at her call. Such an incident is not the only one in which it becomes clear that a man is a mamma's son.
Despite such unpleasant situations, women still retain the hope that after the marriage everything will change, and the man will behave differently in his family life.Alas, the situation after the marriage ceremony does not change, and the woman’s place in the husband’s life, as a rule, cannot be taken.The mother-in-law will do everything to remove her from the pedestal of the newly-made spouse of her son. Therefore, before linking your life with a mama's son, it is worth weighing the chances of creating a happy family.
Male mother almost in all obeys her mother
The main problem of creating a family with a mama's son is that “number one” in the life of a man is a mother. Depriving the mother of this situation is not easy. All tricks can be in vain, and the head of your family for many years will not be the husband, as implied in high-grade families, but his mother.
Mama's sons bring up and take care of women who have not developed a relationship with a man. They are not happy in their personal lives. Such women want to get from their son everything that they did not get from their husbands.As a rule, mama's sons are raised in single-parent families where there is no male father. As a result of the upbringing of a mother who has not developed a personal life, an emotionally immature man, subject to infantilism, who does not represent existence without a mommy's guiding hand, is obtained.
Creating a family with a mama son is a heavy burden.From such a man one should not expect things as usual for family life as: compassion, help, support. The mother created from him a beautiful son, but not a man, a husband, the head of the family, and a father. The mother-in-law sees his wife’s wife as a rival for his attention and love, tries to wrest him from the family, take all his time. A woman married to a mama's son is doomed to a lonely short evening, because a man will spend a lot of time with his mother, because "she is alone."Any gesture for a mother-in-law is a pretext for criticizing statements and accusations.The mother will set up her son against his wife in order to keep him by all means.
Husband and son will not have the courage to take the side of his wife, he will be afraid to “upset his mother.” Making a deal with his conscience is easier for him than creating a conflict situation with his mother. A woman married to a mama's son is often powerless to change something. When a man unites with his mother, the attacks will begin from two sides, and this is a precursor of the collapse of the family. Women who have had a relationship with their mother’s son recall this period of life with a shudder.
The union with the sissy often breaks up, even if the woman decides not to contradict her mother-in-law.
A logical question arises: why do mama sons get married? Judging by the behavior in marriage, they do not feel the need for a wife, love, sex. The options for the prerequisites for the wedding of the mother's sons are two
Mom wants grandchildren. If this is the reason, the mother-in-law will be worn with a pregnant daughter-in-law, like a crystal vase. However, after the birth of the long-awaited child, the daughter-in-law will lose the right to vote, and the grandmother will take up the rearing of her grandson.
The pressure of society. Acquaintances, relatives and friends from all sides are attacking a mama's son, demanding to marry. Not possessing a strong character, the sissy enters into marriage, so that others surround him.
Whatever it was, and family relationships depend not only on men. Perhaps the reason is not only that a man was raised by a mother like that?
Behavior of a woman in marriage with a mama's son
Undoubtedlydomineering mother-in-law and complete subordination of a man to her word is the main problem of marriage with a mama's son. But sometimes the reason for disagreements in the family lies much closer. It's simple: a man behaves like a typical sissy, because his woman, whom he loves, allows him to be like that.And the woman is guilty of it.
Choosing a mama's son as a companion, be ready to become his mother and at the same time endure attacks from her mother-in-law
Do you know why a man gets out of a cozy bed and leaves a beautiful woman at night to the other end of the city to cook borsch with mom? Becausehis mother set standards for behavior, but his wife is not. A loving man will behave properly, if the behavior requirements are known to him. He will make a woman happy, because he will understand: compliance with the requirements of his wife is the key to a successful relationship. But if the wife does not have any rules and requirements, then whose standards will be followed by a man? True, the attitudes of the woman who told him what she would reconcile with and what was unacceptable, that is, her mother.
If the mother has established requirements for the behavior of her son, he will follow them literally, as he fears the consequences of disobedience. He behaves in the same way because the requirements of the mother do not change with time. These are simple requirements: unconditional love, unlimited respect, mother help and protection. She insists on these standards of behavior, and the man, as a caring son, will never challenge them.
This can continue until a wife appears in a man's life with his own attitudes and requirements regarding his relationship to her. The requirements of the wife are not complicated, but they are in contact with the rules of behavior with the mother. Here they are:
A wife requires no less respect than a mother;
Wife and children - above all others and mothers, including;
Everyone in the social circle of men should clearly understand that his relationship with his wife should be treated with respect.
If a woman has not previously set such standards, then why is it striking that a man leaves at the first call of her mother? If a woman is silent and does not express a reasoned dissatisfaction with his behavior (for example, when he leaves her with children and goes to her mother’s house to plant vegetables; or when his mother allows herself to raise her voice, but he does not intervene for his wife), then how man learns that his relationship with his mother violate the requirements of his wife?Speak and be heard.
Men do not have telepathic abilities! Something does not like - tell me.
The bride does not can compete with her mother-in-law. After all, the husband's mother is the woman who taught him to walk, knows him better than anyone else. Nevertheless,the wife can control the observance of the principles and rules adopted in marriage. Leaving his wife and children at home to go to his mother to cook borscht at night will become unacceptable behavior only when the woman herself considers it impossible and notifies her husband.All that is required of a woman is to say about her dissatisfaction in a calm and prudent manner.
Is there a chance for a marriage with a mama's son?
To create a happy family with a mama's son is not easy, but possible. In addition to setting rules and standards of conduct, the following tips and conditions should be taken into account:
The mother's son’s family with a self-sufficient woman is considered ideal.. The lady will not depend on her husband, and the family will not experience material difficulties when the mother-in-law asks for help of a material nature. The marriage of a sissy with a lady who is 7-12 years older is called successful. A man settles in a familiar environment, and his mother will be respectful to the daughter-in-law of almost the same age as her.
The bride must find a common language with the mother-in-law, and it is better to become her friend.. Without this condition, the marriage will not last. The mother-in-law will certainly try to draw her husband’s spouse into the struggle for the title of Main Woman in his life, but such a path for the daughter-in-law is a fatal mistake. The mother always has a trump card in her hands, so rivalry with her is useless.The only way to save the family is to make your mother-in-law not a rival, but an ally.
If you live on the mother-in-law's territory, the first thing to do is to move. It does not matter that it will be a removable living space, but living with your mother is unacceptable. Only in this way will it be possible to limit the influence of the mother-in-law on her husband.
Eradicate the wrong ideas about family life imposed by the mother-in-law from your husband. He must learn to respect his own family. Let the man know that he is the head of the family, and the well-being of you and your children depends on his decisions. Teach him to understand the consequences of his behavior.
Praise a man even for a slight manifestation of independence. Making a decision and understanding the consequences for it should cause a man not panic, but satisfaction. Support your husband, do something together, and thus he will become more confident in himself. It is possible to develop a man’s quality in a mother’s son by praise. Negative criticism will lead to nothing.
In no casedo not show negative, addressed to the mother-in-law. Keep a neutral position. Look at the situation from her side. Her husband's mother lost her reason for living when her son started her own family.
What if my husband is a sissy? Make friends with the mother in law!
Few women like life with a mama's son. With such a man, they play a leading role and lead the state of affairs. The family of the sissy and the domineering woman is ideal - he remains dependent on the decisions of the woman, and she has the usual power.
If you do not treat such women, then the situation should be taken into their own hands. Women who find patience, strength and courage in the end retain marriage and create a prosperous family.A wise woman enjoys the fear of her mother-in-law to lose her son.For a while, it’s worth waiting and not trying to become “number one” in the husband’s life. Do not interfere with the communication of the husband with the mother on the scale in which she needs. Having ascertained that the daughter-in-law does not interfere with communication with her son, the mother-in-law “slows down”, and then the woman will carefully and carefully take the situation under control.But do not expect that a man will become the head of the familyin the general understanding of this definition. Most likely, the place of the chapter will be yours.
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