What should be a real guy
What should be a real guy? I also recommended not to make a list of requirements for elected representatives. But pay attention: I said this with reference to the idea of dating for the sake of dating. That is, it was about the period when a person only discovers the world of people for himself and, recognizing them, knows himself. Rejecting the expectations and conditions, you get the opportunity to freely look around and learn. And at this stage, it is often found that you like something that has never caused your interest. And what you considered very important, it does not matter at all.
This approach works until the heart is connected to the relationship. When the heart comes into play, it is time to rethink and formulate your requirements and wishes. That is, the stage of serious requirements has come - and the requirements to the nature of the partner. The time for evaluating external parameters, such as a figure, eyelash length, profession or education, has passed.
What should be a real guy? Pay attention to the following:
Is a person capable of psychological contact? Can you say that when you are together, he has a soul with you? Does he listen to you? And if he listens, does he hear? Does it respond? Do you have the feeling that you are talking to yourself?
Does the chosen one not encroach on your freedom and independence, does it interfere with making decisions? Or does he try to control you, punish for manifestations of freedom and independence? Does he count with your choice?
Does this person respect your boundaries and your no?
Is he capable of giving in without giving up his views? Is he not selfish? Does he think only of himself? Can you take care of people?
Is discipline and self-control characteristic of him? Or is he acting impulsively and irresponsibly?
Is he prone to perfectionism? Does it require you to meet a certain ideal - instead of allowing you to be what you are? Does he behave as if he himself is flawless? Does he care to always look his best?
Is this a man who is not trapped? Is he able to enjoy life and relationships?
Is he aware of his weaknesses and problems, his pain? Does he admit his own wrongness and can he ask for forgiveness? Do you forgive yourself and people? Is not inclined to accusations and convictions?
Does he have strong addictions, hobbies, interests? Or does he just go with the flow following the fashion? Does he give himself to some business?
Can you say that he somehow serves people and sacrifices something for them?
How does this man relate to his sexuality? Is he a hypocrite? Can you control yourself? Is it pushing you toward physical intimacy?
Does he lead pompous or arrogant? Do you feel that he considers himself superior to others? Or on the contrary, does he consider himself a second-rate person? What is his position in life - active or passive?
What is your relationship with your parents? Are there excessive attachments between them? Does he live at the expense of his parents? Is he still trying to please them? Do they read them? Can we say that he is an adult?
Does your partner respect authority and authority? Is he capable of submission?
Can he take matters into his own hands and act decisively? Can you defend their views, even if others do not like it?
Is he able to carry out confrontations? Do not immediately go into defense? Is it able to listen to a complaint and change its behavior if it harms another?
Can he honestly and confidently talk about his desires and needs?
Can you trust him? Is he cunning? Can you say that he actually follows his principles?
Does he blame others for his troubles and failures? Does he consider himself a victim?
Does he cheat? Can I rely on his words?
Does he grow in personal and spiritual terms?
Is he faithful to his spiritual convictions? Or do you have to remind him of them?
Does he submit to the will of God? Do you obey him? Or is he his own god?
Did he repent of the mistakes and sins he committed in the past?
Is he able to complain or protest when you do something wrong? Can he do it with love? Or just with malice?
Does he have any psychological problems that he himself closes his eyes to? Does he often get annoyed?
Can we say that he is a spiritual man? Or is his religiosity formal? What does faith mean to him: observance of laws and rules, or living relationship with God?
What habits of your partner indicate the positive and negative aspects of his character?
How did he have a relationship with the opposite sex before?
If unsuccessful, did he work with a consultant or in a self-help group? Are you another victim of unhealthy patterns of his behavior?
Is this person inclined to communicate? Or is it closed? How does he behave when a conflict situation arises? Is it ready to discuss it? Does he try to humiliate the interlocutor or make fun of him?
How does he behave when something goes wrong with you? Going into yourself? Or seeking to communicate with you?
Does he have any harmful addictions (alcohol, drugs, dependence on sex, gambling, computers, and the like)? Is he jealous? Picky? Jealous? Vindictive? Does not discord and split everywhere? Is he a careerist?
Does your chosen one (the chosen one) sympathize with those who are in trouble, who is unlucky, those who are weaker? Does he care about them?
Does he have true friends?
I know that it is tedious to answer these questions. But living with a person who has serious defects of character will be even more tedious. Character flaws do not pass by themselves. If the partner does not recognize their problems and does not begin to solve them, they will not disappear. It is not in your power to change another person.The only thing you can - do not indulge his unhealthy behavior and encourage him to ask for help. Do not be fooled, thinking that your partner will change out of love for you. Nothing will change until he sees his problems and starts working on them.
Understand the nature of the partner is easy. Listen to yourself - to your inner voice, to feelings, to feelings. In a mature person, as the apostle Paul said, "the senses are skillfully accustomed to distinguishing between good and evil" (Heb. 5:14). Charisma, the external attractiveness of your chosen one, your attraction to him is what you should forget when making a decision. Listen to yourself: what do you feel when you are near him? How do you feel about being together? What feelings do you have about your relationship? What is your typical inner state when meeting with a partner and remembering them. It will remain with you when adoration, admiration, or passionate passion for your beloved, whom you now look through rose-colored glasses, will evaporate. It is time to come down from heaven to earth and really look at the person next to you. Now this is vitally important.
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