Why have children? Parental responsibility for children
Why do people decide to have a baby? Why have children and what does the term “responsible parent” mean?
Why do people give birth to children?
It is impossible to give a single-valued answer to this question. People make decisions about increasing their families for various reasons.Everything is individual, but it is still possible to single out the average reasons. So, we are planning to have a baby because ...
- ... so accepted. In modern society, the family is not considered complete if they do not have children. Family people without a child are condemned on all sides, and the woman in particular.The feeling of tact among the surrounding is often absent, and questions like: "why do not you give birth?" The couple hears regularly. People feel a duty to society, therefore, it is not necessary to talk about the awareness of the decision. Many become parents, experiencing the fear of being condemned by others. The consequences of this are often disastrous.
- …I want to. And for what reason do you want? A woman, if she cannot be realized in society, thinks (and often unconsciously) that after the birth of a child she will certainly increase in the eyes of people around her and her own. After the baby is born, the newly-made mother demands from people around her increased attention to the status of the parent. It was this type of women that became the prerequisite for the appearance of the sarcastic Internet meme “I am a mother”.
- ... thus I will gain the meaning of life. Children born for this purpose, really sorry. Parents will not give them independence, because the goal of having a child for them is to give the meaning of life to mom and dad, and not to live on their own.
- ... I feel the need for love and care. This desire usually arises in women whose relationships with men have failed.They give birth to a baby "for themselves", formulating it in such a way that it is fundamentally wrong, because a child is not a toy. Children born for this reason are doomed to exist under the “mother’s skirt” because it is not allowed to love someone other than the parent.
The main danger for children is their parents. (B. Shaw)
- ... I want to lead. Following the installation of "the eggs do not teach the chicken" and the hierarchical system in the family way, people give birth to a baby so that it is someone to manipulate or direct. Tragedy for both children and parents begins when a child grows up and leaves the control zone of mom and dad.
- ... I think that in old age the child "will give me a glass of water." The motive seems quite noble, but there is also an attempt to tie the child to the end of life. Such a formulation suggests that the child will start caring for the elderly parents not because of their own zeal, but because they must feel the obligation. However, children do not always act in accordance with the goals of their parents, so selfishly giving birth to a "servant" is stupid.
- ... a child will save family relationships. Fundamentally mistaken reasoning! The child is not a cement mix and it will not be possible to glue down the collapsing family hearth with his help.If two adults are not able to understand each other, then the appearance of a new person in the family will not solve the problem, but will aggravate it.
- ... so decided by authoritative relatives. In some families, the will of the senior family member (usually a tyrant and a despot) is the law. This means that all young couples in the "clan" are required to produce a descendant in order to increase the number of subordinates to the despot. If this is not included in the plans of the young, but they are forced to give birth to a child, it is not difficult to imagine how this will turn out.
- ... children will do what we could not. As the child grows up, parents and parents will be imposed goals and dreams, which in fact were the aspirations of the mother or father. Children often continue the work of their parents, but they do not always want this. The result of this is an unhappy person engaged in an unloved affair.
- ... you need to leave a mark on the world. In general, a worthy desire. I do not want to leave my life without a trace. The main thing is that this goal should not develop into a desire to impose on children their own thinking and points of view.
And it’s extremely rare for people to decide to have a child, so that they can share their own experiences, positive thoughts and happiness with someone.That is how responsible parents explain their decision, who dealt with life problems and found marital happiness and harmony in relationships.
Responsible parent: what does this mean?
Marriage is a multi-year heroic work of parents raising their own children to their feet.
Responsible parents approach the birth of the child consciously and plan to conceive not for their own sake, but for the sake of the baby. This does not mean that they will grow up a narcissistic egoist. Parents who came to the birth of a child consciously realize that children are guests in their home. The child is not property. He owes nothing to anyone. And it needs to be understood.
Having a child helps people to be realized in life, as parents, and live a more fulfilling and fulfilling life. The appearance of a new man in the world should not be an attempt to solve his own social or psychological problems.
Imagine that you own a large amount of any good. You have so much of it that for two or for one already bust. You do not mind sharing this boon with someone else, without demanding anything in return.It is not even so important for you to return this good to you in the future or not. You do not lose anything and easily give it to another person. As a reward, you will feel joy and pride in yourself at the thought of your own generosity.
So with the child. Only as a blessing, it is not material resources that are meant, but love. After all, no resources will replace such necessary things as happiness, friendship, respect, understanding. The birth of a baby should be supported not by the need to become loved by someone, but by the desire to share one’s own love. Believe me, this is enough for children to feel happy throughout their life.
However, do not confuse unconditional gratuitous love with proprietary or even tyrannical. The lover shares his joy, positivity and happiness, without demanding anything in return. It does not matter how much money you have. Children do not understand the value of material goods. They need parental love and care. Responsible parents know that waking up in the morning is necessary not for the sake of the child, but first of all for its own sake. They live in harmony with the world and are ready to be responsible for each of their actions.
Future parents should have a positive life experience, an optimistic outlook on life and harmony in relationships with others.Parents, on their own example, show their children how to solve emerging problems.
Does this description fit you? So you have, why give birth to children, and you can be responsible for them. You will create a harmonious family and make the child happy and successful. Only consciously taking a decision to give birth to a child, it is possible to create a happy full-fledged family.
And finally ...
Do not dissolve in your own child and turn from a responsible parent to an addict. The face must be respected and never crossed. Responsible moms and dads say: "My child has a cold" or "My child went to a kindergarten." Dependents will say: “We have caught a cold”, “We went to kindergarten”. In this formulation, there is no definition of the child as an individual. This is disrespectful. Thus, the identity of the child is killed in the bud.
Responsible parents give the child the right to choose and the right to make mistakes. Their children believe in themselves and their competence in dealing with issues relating to their own lives. Children of responsible parents find a place in society, because they are brought up in respect and tolerance to others.
What will be the child and how you become a parent depends on you. The birth of a child is a personal matter for everyone, but only children whose birth consciously as parents become truly happy people.
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